this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
