yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We are all done wearing pants today
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize