i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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