i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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