Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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