you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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