I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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