it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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