Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
