i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
