Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
