It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
