brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
