Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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