my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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