hell yes lets make some ravioli
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
