I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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