Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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