wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
