We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
