Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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