you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
