im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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