He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
