Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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