Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
