They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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