How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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