Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't deserve a penis
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
