who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
