Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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