we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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