I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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