if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
