it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
