i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
