He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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