Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
