I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
