My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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