I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i think my cat just said my name.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
