Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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