why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
