he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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