Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
