I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Swine flu. Run for my life!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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