Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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