There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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