i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sponge bath it is.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
