I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
